That feeling

Some random lines I wrote. It’s not a poem or anything. Ever felt that feeling when you are extremely low or sad or anxious without actually knowing the reason for it. It’s so irritating and frustrating right! One day I was feeling the same and just put pen to paper that time and wrote whatever came to my mind that time. Bet you been through it too! (Psst..no editing has been done here, so it’s very raw and random! )

Fiddling, tapping, meddling

Mind’s blank or stuffed with infinite things

Eyes closed, head gently hitting the wall

Walking round in circles, aimlessly

Music blasting and echoing everywhere

In the house, ears and mind

Nothing makes sense, what is happening

Curbing the urge to smoke or kill someone

Flicking through novels, typing random words

Trying to connect the feelings, the music and words together

Lame attempts at decoding the cruel games

Played by the life, heart, mind or people

Shuffling the playlist to find the perfect song

That describes how I feel

Biting the lips, chipping nail paint not calming

Comfort food or a hug is needed

Playing the reel of good memories

No, they don’t help either

Stringing together words should help

But what if they are as random as these

A run, a pet or just a good conversation

A good read or that one text

Something, anything, come cheer me up

Help me name what I’m feeling

No, this isn’t insanity

I’m just restless.

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BATTLEFIELD

I step into the battlefield

Unguarded

It looks deserted

I see barren ground kissing the sky

I embrace the blowing wind

When suddenly hurt came waving a sword

And sliced through my heart

Fear threatened to break it up

And smash it into little crumbs

Anger ran into me and became a part of me

And radiated its bright light constantly

Helplessness kept on poking me

Confirming its constant presence

Hopelessness held me steady

Making me a perfect target to hit

Loneliness came with a shield

Ensuring I’m protected from any companionship

Depression came above me like a cloud

And drenched me with sadness

A flood of insecurity came

Drowning me deeper and deeper into it

Vulnerability haunted me wearing a black hood

And ordered confusion to never leave my side

Failure isolation and rejection spun around me

And laughed loudly making me dizzy

A tornado of numbness engulfed me

And spit me out bruised and battered

Now lying in the middle of the battlefield of emotions

The hollow me is waiting to be trampled by happiness…………………