Just One More

His leg was draped across the favourite chair’s armrest

Head fell back in defeat, hair matted with sweat

One hand hung feebly beside, feeling the cold floor

The other fingers gripped the crystal glass tightly

Almost guarding it with whatever life he had in him

The pale coloured liquid doubling as like his life’s elixir

Faintly mumbling something, staring into a void

He then reached out for another, Just one more

 

She immensely liked the shiver; the cool thin metal gave her

It was ironic that her weakness made her feel strong

A chilling smile spread across her face as the memories reeled

Being the target of jokes, anger, humiliation and insecurity

She slowly and grandly lifted her choice of weapon

Just a few strokes and the scarlet streamlets coloured her bath

The tears tried to drive away the agony that swallowed her up

She consoled herself and said, Just one more

 

He was enraged, clenched and unclenched his fist

Held his head between the knees that wanted to give up

The clothes yelled out for help but no one listened

Trembling fingers ran through the unkempt unwashed hair

Lifting his head to expose the scared and blood-red eyes

He fought with urges with all his might till they took over

Vanquished, he reached out for the rolled piece of paper beside him

He validated each puff with, Just one more

 

Standing in front of the mirror, measuring tape around the slim waist

All she wanted was to look and feel beautiful, and thin

Disgusted by the picture that was reflecting on the spotless surface

She dropped the tape and took support of her meek arms

The long locks tumbled over her head, around her despondent existence

She let it all out, pools of her aspirations and heartfelt desires

They all accumulated, reminding her to stop, before going down the drain

Retching after every meal, convinced to do Just one more

 

They all embraced their darkness, with a hope to shrug it off

Feeling protected and miserable, bound within the grim clutches of addiction

He drank a little more with each passing night, seeking numbness

She made perfect little cuts on the pale canvas of skin, concealing the pain

He puffed during the waking hours, freeing his dreams, up with the smoke

She threw up a little more, hoping to inch towards the perfect figure

The merciless and icy fingers of their weakening strength, gripped them tighter

Bit by bit, their life trickled away, all in the excuse of just one more………

 

 

 

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Soul

                                                            

 

From the spine of old books to each other’s tender hearts 

They gazed silently through the glossy pools molten hazel drops

The waves crashed on the conniving rocks, lapping them hungrily

Seagulls screeched loudly, fighting over the helpless fish

Pages of numerous books flipped gracefully, the breeze teasing

Yet they could hear each other thoughts, clear and loud 

 

They exchanged a smile, of affection and understanding  

Reaching out to the first book that came into their hands

The fingers brushed, shiver ran out the skin; another smile

It was but a familiar occurrence, delicate nevertheless

Settling on the soft vast Persian rug, speckled with books

The reading began, feet over each other, head nestled in lap

 

Those sparkling huge French windows kept them secluded

Carefully collecting and preserving their silent conversations

They communicated through their favourite quotes and scenarios

Found themselves searching for their beloved characters in each other

As the words became a part of their being, the pages dwindled

They lost each other in them, and found themselves in pristine realms

 

The lips read words written by others, revealed their passion through them

An immense wave of emotions overwhelmed them, drowned them

The red flutter of flame crackled lustily on the dry, burnt logs

Silver moon rippled through the pond, pining and longing

They were being imitated enviously by the raging fire and tranquil moon

Complimenting each other, warping the distance and illusions through words

 

The high walls and the grand ceiling that shielded them and their stories

Seemed like a fleeting moment of surreal fantasy, an untouched dream

It was an escape, their sanctuary, far away from the urban complexities

Where the silent glances and smiles spoke more than voluminous books

They were happy to lose themselves beneath those pages and words

Unwilling and shy to finish any chapter, see through any conclusions

 

They just immersed themselves, in the possibilities of the infinite,

Carefree, distant from the shackles of obscurity and triviality

Happily anonymous amongst the most popular and worshipped names

She in his shirt, his arms around her waist, leaving behind their scent

Between those crumpled pages, that would tell something more a story

It would boast and radiate the soul of their poignant story too.

The Journey

The windows rolled down

One hand casually drooping out of it

With smoke between the fingers rising up in victory

And ash accepting its defeat by bowing down

Other hand bracing the leather steering

With fingers tapping on it

To the beat of the groovy music

Dreamy eyes set on that thin line

Where the sky and road seem to marry

The foot on the metal

Pressing it hard, maybe to challenge speed

The rubber kissing the asphalt

And leaving behind trees and chaos

At an unforgiving and heartless pace

The long winding road ahead mocked me

As if it promised a hurdle every few meters

A shift in the gear, a push on the accelerator

Everything else was a blur, a vague picture

The wind howled loudly and menacingly

Only one thing was crystal clear

And only one thing really mattered

The horizon, that always fascinated me

It seemed like there were endless possibilities

Something so far away, so beyond my reach

Had to hold something far precious than my imagination

The unknown intrigued me and the known repelled

So, I continued to race against time

In a bid to step in the anonymous horizon just once

I forgot all that I selfishly left behind

As the distance piled up, the memories faded

I glanced at the rear view mirror,

They revealed faint shreds of the bygone

Regret blended with ambition and reflected in the smile

I kept on pushing the metal harder and harder

In an attempt to outrun things, people, feelings

The surroundings kept getting hazy with every second

All that mattered was in front of me, or so I thought

Just then something caught my eye, a glint faraway

The screech of the burning tires left a mark behind

Stepping out, I was greeted by a bout of indescribable beauty

I was caught off guard, how could I completely miss it

 Somewhere in the pursuit of reaching the horizon

And escaping all that I left behind for good,

Enmeshed between focusing and hurrying

I forgot to enjoy the purpose of all this – The journey.

That First Step

Creases crowded her hand

And crevasses in them were filled

With dirt, loss and abandoned dreams

Staring intently at them

And trying to understand why

Each line that resided in her palm

Lied to her about everything

With a blank face she continued her work

Swept the dry leaves from the side walk

 

As a kid she loved autumn and dry leaves

Her dad would sweep and pile them

And she jumped right into them

With leaves creating havoc

Her giggles filled up the air

How she would give anything to have

That moment of carefree bliss once again

Each stray leaf she swept seemed like an old dream

That slipped through her fingers noiselessly

 

The voices in her head created a fury

Each screamed that she couldn’t do it

That she wasn’t strong enough to nurture her dreams

Every time those voices filled her up

She sunk a little lower and silently screamed a little louder

Always wished to muffle those voices to death

Helplessly she clasped the warm blanket around self

And mustered all strength and will to

Protect whatever little hope that was left in her

 

The cries of the lost life kept her awake all night

Arrival of morning was an ugly reminder to her

Of yet another failed day welcoming her

But, next day, there was something new in the air

There was a desire to turn into a new leaf

Found strength she forgot she had,

Picked up the broom to sweep the fallen leaves

And gather all the neglected dreams

Safeguarded them back in the eyes

 

She muted all the voices that told “she can’t”

Cut all the links that weighed her down

Took baby steps in the unknown, forgotten path

Challenged everything that was thrown at her

Started enjoying every fight she was up against

Undeterred she kept on moving ahead.

She was ready to own all the abandoned dreams

And all that it took was, that  courageous first step

Towards a life she always dreamt

Foster Child Speaks

I was found on the sidewalk

Wearing minimal torn clothes

They said my face was dirty

So were my hair, nails and body

Stomach was grumbling loudly

Eyes were darting in all directions

When they asked where my mommy was

I told them she told me to wait there

She went for some two days ago

I was still standing there waiting for her

She didn’t come back, she never came back

Yet my wait for her return never stopped

Because I was five and I was scared

 

I guess mommy forgot her way back

She was always bad with directions

These people were kind enough to

Give me something to eat and drink

I’m sure mommy sent them for me

They said there were going to take me

To some house with good people in it

Said that we’ll wait for my mommy there

I was glad that to go some place warm

Sat by the window to see when she’ll return

The good people did not seem to like me

Because they sent me away soon

I was seven and was still waiting for her

 

I was sent to many houses with good people

But everyone sent me out, they said I was difficult

They made me wear clothes I didn’t like

Sometimes gave me peas to eat which I hated

And sent me to a big school that I loathed

When I said I didn’t like that, they scolded me

They never answered when my mommy was returning

How can mom lose her way in such a small town

I thought of running away to look for her

Maybe these people who lived a comfortable life

Didn’t care about her absence, but I did

Why didn’t they understand that my mum was lost

I was ten and I was really confused.

 

I grew up a little more, faded picture became clearer

The brutal reality of mum abandoning me

Smacked me hard on my soul, I changed

Returned to the streets, tried to make sense of everything

But these people kept taking, to many more houses

They tried to reform me, I kept on rebelling

Many people opened their house for me

But they could not open their hearts

They said they wanted to take care of me

That they wanted to give me the best they could

How was I supposed to believe and trust them

My own mother left me on the street

Why would some strangers wish good for me

I was thirteen and very tired of life

 

Eventually everyone gave up on me

Concluded that I would never have a good life

If they really wanted me to do good and be happy

Why didn’t even one of them ask what I wanted

None of them tried to understand that

It was just not the clothes and food that I needed

A warm hug and loving words would have nourished me more

Scolding and harsh words couldn’t do

What a gentle encouraging nudge would have done

They always gave what they wanted, nothing that I wanted

Wished that they would have just understood that

Wished someone, anyone would have just noticed me

Here I am, no knowledge of my age, abandoned, yet again

 

Bittersweet Truth

I’ve heard many guys ask this question so many times, ‘Why do you girls take so much time to get ready? Why do you always keep us waiting?’ Well, I don’t know the answer to that question, but this is what happens behind the scenes. Sorry boys to keep you waiting but I guess you will find it in the end of the poem why we take the liberty to do that again and again and again. 😀

Psstt.. Please take it with a pinch of salt 😉

Waking up from the dreamy nap

Eyes tightly shut and a tiny smile intact

She stretches her hands wide

Gazes out of the window

Procrastinates leaving the bed

Cuddles and plays with her beloved puppy

Finally decides to quit delaying

Dramatically she puts one foot down

And then the next

Tippy-toed till the stereo

Selects her favourite song

Confused she re-considers her choice

And shuffles the playlist

Once, twice and many times more

As the beats fill up the room

She can’t help but dancing

Like a child, she’s ecstatic

Jumping to the songs’ tunes

And singing out of chord

Stepping on the cold tiles, she turns the tap on

The stomach grumbles and rampage begins

Shelves are searched, fridge is ransacked

Munching away happily, she gets lost in thoughts

The noise of overflowing water on cold tiles

Snaps her back out of the fantasies  

And thus begins the session of beauty bath

She manages to cram up everything

In that hour of bliss

Dreams about her future,

Wonders about the evening ahead

Mulls over the past

Until she realises it’s getting late

Avoiding the calls that need attention

She attacks the over-flowing wardrobe

Peels out layers of clothes

She dresses and undresses

The wardrobe’s level lowers

And that of bed increases

Finally she’s happy with the assemblage

Struts towards the footwear collection

Only to realise in horror that

Nothing, in the room full of shoes, matches

The process starts again

She undresses and dresses

The wardrobe’s level lowers

And that of bed increases

Eventually clothes and shoes match

Smile widens, eyes sparkle

Need for caffeine triggers

Back in the kitchen, fiddles with the coffee machine

A peppy song comes up

Again the prancing begins,

Coffee in one hand and stereo remote in other

She dances balancing the hot one

And continually switches songs

Till a call from him breaks the flow

He’s about to reach in a few minutes

Panic strikes, coffee spills, curses emit

The hair styling starts

Hair misbehaves, she tries to tame it

Third time lucky, the crowning glory

Decides to stay as directed

The kohl define her eyes

The shadow adds colour to them

He’s already there, waiting

She sweeps the gloss

From the depths of her bag

And adds a tinge of shine on the lips

The cell keeps on ringing

Avoiding it conveniently

She dabs perfume out of the fancy bottle

Picks out a colour she likes

And paints her nails with it

Standing and posing she scrutinises herself

When the cell rings the fifth time

Snatches her clutch and keys

Just to listen to the opinion, once again,

Of her faithful and truthful mirror

She turns back and stands in front of it

Happy with the mirror’s answers

She smiles

Blows a kiss to the pup

She races down the stairs

Smiles to herself when she sees him

Pacing, irritated, outside his car

She knew he was rehearsing his dialogues

To ‘scold’ her to keep him waiting

Mischief twinkling in her eyes

She went behind him

And softly said, ‘Sorry to keep you waiting’

Angrily he turned around

One look at her and words failed him

All that came to his lips was a smile

Brushing aside a stray hair off her eyes

He just managed to say, ‘It was worth it’

She smiled a mischievous smile

And knew just like that, 

That getting late would never be a problem ever again